Can a Man Cheat But Still Love You?

I am asked this question very often. Although most people don't realize this, statistically speaking, many people aren't ready to end their marriages when they have an affair or cheat. In fact, many husbands who are caught cheating actually never intended to get a divorce. This is very confusing and frustrating for the wives who are living in this situation. I often hear things like "he swears he never stopped loving me. He insists that his cheating had nothing to do with me or our marriage. He says the problem is within him and has nothing to do with his feelings for me. How am I supposed to believe this? How can you claim to love someone and then betray them and cheat on them?"

I very much understand these questions. You have every right to ask them. And, I have to tell you that you likely won't understand the answer. It's hard for wives who were faithful in their marriages even when things were difficult to understand how someone else made a different choice. Being unfaithful would likely never be a road that you would walk down. So, much of the reasoning that he might give you is likely going to sound like nothing more than excuses. Still, in the following article, I'll go over some of the reasoning that men use when they swear they can still love their wives (or girlfriends) even though they cheated.

Why Men Will Tell You That They Can Still Love You Before, During, And After Their Cheating: It might be obvious by now that I'm a woman. It's difficult for me to think like a man especially since I'm a woman who has also been cheated on. However, I have spent a lot of time researching this topic. I also have men who contact me through my blog that sometimes offer insights into their thinking. I can share with you what they share with me.

Many tell me that their cheating had very little to do with their wife. They tell me that it was a response to stress, doubt, insecurity, or crisis in their life. Sometimes this is due to aging, losing someone that they love, or feeling vulnerable in their job or in their own mind. Sometimes, they have low self esteem or little impulse control. They want to shield these things from their wife rather then share them with her. So, the cheating is often their attempt to quiet these things while keeping them from their wife. They will and can sincerely tell you that nothing in this process changed their love for their wife.

Granted, I'm sure there are husbands who are insincere about this and who are just trying to make themselves look a little less distasteful. But, most of the men that I dialog with appear to be quite sincere and appear to believe every word that they are saying. I'm not telling you this to make excuses for them. And by no means am I trying to diminish the blame that they deserve. I'm just sharing the things that I have heard to give you a bit more information.

Saying That He Loves You After His Cheating And Showing You That He Loves You Are Two Very Different Things: In my opinion, words are just that. They are only words. And, as they relate to this topic, they can perhaps make you feel slightly better. But, if there are no actions to follow up the words then doubt is going to eventually make it's way into your mind and into your heart once again.

Sure, he can tell you that he loves you endless times, but if he does not change his behaviors and improve the vulnerabilities in your marriage, you aren't likely to ever really believe him. It's my experience that a man's actions will show you much more than his words ever could, especially in this situation.

A man who never stopped loving his wife even though he cheated will take responsibility for his actions. He might insist that he never stopped loving you but he knows that this doesn't excuse him from what he did. He knows that he has a lot of work to do and that fixing this mess lies mostly with him. He's willing to accept this because he knows that he brought this on himself. He's also willing to have generous amounts of patience and reassurance as you try to process and work through this. He's not going to rush or pressure you. In short, he's going to do whatever needs to be done to help you get through this even if none of it is pleasurable for him.

At the end of the day, every one makes mistakes. But those who are really remorseful for these mistakes and committed them while still loving you are willing to hang in there for the long haul. They will show you over time that they are willing to make the changes and adjustments necessary to regain your trust. These aren't just easily said or empty words to them. They mean them. And they are willing to implement the actions and the behaviors that are meant to prove this to you because you are simply that important to them and they've realized from this experience that they don't want to lose you or to put your relationship in jeopardy.

This is only my opinion and experience, but I do believe that it's possible for a man to still love his wife or girlfriend even if he has cheated. However, in my mind, this should be a one time thing. A man who continues to cheat even after he knows the pain that this causes will generally have a harder time convincing his wife of his sincerity than a man who makes one mistake, never repeats it, and then does everything in his power to make it right.

Is My Husband Still in Love With Me - 3 Signs He's Falling Out of Love

Is my husband still in love with me is a question that many women ask after a few years of married life has passed. Early in the relationship we tend to have little to no doubt about how our husband feels. He rushes home to be with us, he never forgets our birthday or anniversary and he often tends to things around the house to keep us happy. That can all change over time and it can leave a woman questioning whether she still owns her spouse's heart. If you've been wondering whether your husband is actually still in love with you as opposed to simply loving you, there are a few signs in his behavior that will give you a great deal of insight into his heart.

Some of the signs your husband is falling out of love with you include:

He spends less and less time with you. Has your husband progressively gotten busier with work over the course of the past few months or years? Work is one of the favorite go-to excuses that men make when they no longer feel emotionally close to their wives. It's a very believable excuse and any well meaning wife generally won't question it because she believes her husband is hard at work providing for the family. If your husband is always looking for an excuse for why he can't be home, that's not a sign of a hard worker. It's a sign of a husband who has lost interest.

Your intimate life has changed dramatically. Just as women find it hard to be physically intimate with a man if there is underlying conflict between them, men are very much the same. If your husband is falling out of love with you, he generally won't be as interested in lovemaking. If he's the one with the headache or he stays up late to avoid falling asleep with you, he may be not be as deeply in love with you as he once was.

He criticizes you on a continuous basis. Some people are emotionally immature and the way they handle a shift in their feelings is by lashing out at the person they loved. If your husband has taken to criticize you for your appearance or behavior that may be his way of emotionally detaching from you. It's also an approach some men take when they want the relationship to be over but don't have the courage to discuss it. They unconsciously berate their wife with the belief that she'll eventually become so tired of it that she'll leave the marriage. Pay close attention to what your husband complains about. It may have a much deeper meaning than you first realized.