Does Your Chinese Girlfriend Really Love You?

Because many men have a fear that if they marry a Chinese woman she may be just doing so to improve her financial status and because it's often a question guys email me about, I'm writing this article. Not everyone has visited or lived in mainland China, not to mention having dated a cross-section of Chinese woman, so there is certainly some kinds of information you should be aware of, no matter in the beginning stages, or even at the marriage stage.

Even though I had been involved in the Chinese community in my own country for many years, and also dated Chinese girls in my own country, it didn't prepare me at all for mainland Chinese women!

Let me just say this to start off, as this is definitely something you should pay attention to: Chinese females don't express their feelings or thoughts in the same way as western women do, and this can really confuse quite a few western guys; testimony to this fact is my email box! Even some clues and signs you may think show her feelings may simply be her culturally conditioned behavior fooling you. Essentially, Chinese women are taught from a young age to act in a certain way so they can secure a husband, their mothers deliberately raise them this way. When they reach adulthood they don't actually know they are doing this, this is especially so of mainland Chinese women.

So how can we find out of a Chinese woman really loves us, as it is a fact that in Chinese culture love is not a prerequisite for marriage, were it not the case we wouldn't really need to ask this question. Yet I can say there are huge amounts of Chinese females that are totally genuine, honest and loving, not to mention beautiful. In China Chinese people often consider love as an action, for example if a Chinese woman cooks for you or raises you children or even take care of you when you are ill they would say in all honesty they 'love' you. Few women in Chinese culture would consider this a form of deceit, as in Chinese culture it's not!

In any case, so that we can make sure your Chinese girlfriend or fiance really has some deep feelings for you, lets take a look at a few clues:

If a Chinese woman starts showing concern for your health then it can be an indicator that her feelings are deeper than just friendship. In the culture, a Chinese woman, and especially a wife, should show some concern over her husband's health; so if it's in the beginning stages of the relationship and she is doing this with you then it's a really good indicator that she really has some feeling for you. This is also a way that many Chinese women try to give a man a hint that she likes him, so either way, it's a good sign!

Another big giveaway that your possible Chinese bride or girlfriend feelings are genuine, and that she maybe deeply in love with you is that green-eyed monster called 'jealousy'. Most western women repress or control this emotion, but this is almost totally not the case with Chinese women; I can assure you that this is one emotion Chinese women are more than happy to express when they feel it!

The repression of jealousy is actually mostly related to the native English-speaking countries and has its roots in British culture, it's definitely not part of the Chinese national character in any shape or form! So if you see jealousy in her eyes when you're giving attention to another girl then you know she has more than likely fallen for you!

Do You Doubt Your Husband's Love For You After His Affair? These Insights Might Help

This may surprise you, but often one main concerns after learning of a husband's affair is not the wife's own feelings but that of her husband. If you were to ask very honest wives their most immediate concern during the early days after the affair has been found out, many will tell you that they are most concerned not necessarily about sex, but about their husband's emotional feelings. They are concerned about how their husband still feels about them and what type of emotions he feels toward the other woman.

If you have never been the wife in this situation, this may seem quite odd to you. But you have been there like I have, you likely know exactly what I mean. You can be absolutely furious at your husband and unsure about the future of your marriage while at the same time worrying if this same man who betrayed you still loves you, as strange as that may sound.

And even though this process may sound odd, it actually makes complete sense to me. That's because love doesn't turn off like a faucet or run dry like a fountain. Disappointment or even pain doesn't make it immediately stop. Even if you think your husband doesn't deserve your love, you may well still be feeling it. And so it's logical that you want him to feel this for you as well.

I heard from a wife who felt the same. She said: "part of me loathes my husband for having an affair. There are days when I want absolutely nothing to do with him. And then there are days when I don't want to throw my marriage away. This other woman isn't worth that. One mistake isn't worth that. The major problem that we are having now is that I have trouble believing him when he says he loves me now and that he never stopped loving me. I will immediately have awful thoughts like he wasn't thinking of his love for me when he was with another woman. It's so hard for me to understand how you can love someone at the same instance as you are betraying them. And so a part of me is always wondering if my husband is lying. And when I question this, he becomes angry at me and gets discouraged. He says if I'm always going to doubt him that we may as well just go ahead and get a divorce. But I just can't help it. What can you do when you doubt your husband's claims to still love you even though he had an affair?"

My answer to this question may sound very simplistic, but I hope that doesn't keep you from continuing to read it. The first thing I would say is that no one expects you to just blindly believe what he says right now. After all, he hasn't been telling you the entire truth all along. So, it is completely natural (and even in your best interest sometimes) to have a healthy dose of doubt and to not just accept his claims as truth. With that said, you do have the ability to test his claims out. After all, if he is being truthful and truly does love you, then it's likely that he will remain committed to you, your marriage, and to making things work. Nothing says you can't hang in there, be open to working things out, and see if his claims end up being true.

Another point that I'd like to make is that it is up to your as to whether you give your husband a chance to prove this to you. I mean, he can claim whatever he wants. But it is his actions and his behaviors that are truly indicative of how he feels about you. If he does his very best to help you heal and to become the husband that you want and need, if he does his best to improve and rehabilitate himself, and if he stays true to his commitments to you, then these things would be a pretty good indication that he indeed does love you.

Hear me out when I say that often, we doubt his love for us because our own doubts about ourselves are bothering us as well. This certainly isn't your fault, but being cheated on can truly challenge any confidence that you may have. And as you struggle with your self esteem and self worth, it becomes much easier to doubt someone's love for you. It becomes much easier to see your flaws rather than to embrace your strengths. You must always remind yourself that you are the same person you always were and if he can't see this, then that is his loss. The trouble is, often he does see this. It is us who has the doubts.

So take a look at your own insecurities and doubts and ask yourself if strengthening your self esteem might help you with this. Finally, for wives who have trouble believing in their husband's love after an affair, I would suggest that you decide if you're going to give him the opportunity to prove his love for you. And, if you chose that you are going to give him that chance, then do everything in your power to make it count. If you need help to boost your self esteem, then it is worth getting it because not only will it make you feel much better, it will give your marriage a fighting chance. It may seem very simplistic but if you make a very dedicated effort to love your self and to see where you are lovable, you will have a much easier time believing that he sees the same thing.

Can A Man Love You Even If He Had An Affair?

I often hear from women who are struggling with the fact that the man they love has had an affair. Yesterday was no exception. I heard from a wife who had her doubts as to whether a husband who had an affair could actually love his wife. She wrote in part: "I keep asking him if he loves the other woman. Because to me, sex and love go hand in hand. He says he doesn't love her and that he loves me. How is this remotely possible? He can't possibly love me if he had an affair. Men who love women do not cheat on them. Betrayal isn't what love is. But when I tell my husband this, he gets very upset. I've even seen him sobbing. He swears he never stopped loving me and that love really didn't have anything to do with his mistake. He says he doesn't know why he did this but that he's desperately sorry and he's devastated that I doubt his love for me. Can you help me understand how a husband can claim to love a wife but then have an affair?"

I can and did certainly try. Of course, I'm not a man who has had an affair. I am a woman who has been through an affair. And, I've conducted tons of research on this topic and have done a lot of work to heal. I can share what I have learned, which I'll do below.

Sometimes When A Man Who's Had An Affair Claims To Still Love You, He Is Telling You The Truth As He Knows It: It's my belief that most of the women who write me on this topic think that their husband is out and out lying about his love for them. They think that he is telling her what she wants to hear or that he's trying to limit her anger and fury at him. And sometimes, she's right.

But a man who is having an affair certainly isn't always thinking that he doesn't love his wife or is acting on that same belief. I actually believe that often, he's acting because of his own self doubts and insecurities combined with poor impulse control at one point and time. This is certainly no excuse. But I believe that often, an affair has more to do with the way a man feels about himself and his place in the world than about the way that he feels about his wife or even his marriage.

Sure, at the time, he may not be feeling loving feelings toward his wife or his marriage. He may not be thinking about her at all. But it's likely a safe bet that he's not thinking rationally or having deep emotional thoughts or debates. This doesn't excuse his behavior, but it does let you know that not all men who have affairs do so because their feelings about their wives have died or are lacking.

Frankly, His Behavior After The Affair Is Sometimes A Better Indicator Of His Love For You Than The Affair Itself: I often tell wives that it's their husband's behavior after you find out about the affair that is really going to give you a true glimpse of whether he loves you or not. Because the period after the affair is often what will really show you what your husband is made of.

Because he's going to be under a lot of scrutiny at that time and men who don't love their wives tend to make a run for it rather than hanging in there and insisting that they love you and want to rebuild your marriage. Going to counseling, having difficult conversations, having accountability, and taking responsibility are all difficult things that sometimes do not come easily to husbands. Men who don't really love the women in question will often flee instead of stay.

Or, they'll make you feel at fault, shift the blame, or become indignant. But men who truly love you and care about your best interests will stay put even when you are less than kind to them and even when they are under scrutiny. They do this because they are sincere that they want you and their life back.

Sometimes, wives will tell me that they see different personalities in their husband. At times, he's the sweet sorry, remorseful guy who is begging for forgiveness but eventually, this gives way to a defensive guy who gets sick of all the questions and need for reassurance. This is relatively normal and doesn't necessarily mean your husband doesn't love you. This is a very trying time for everyone. Both people will become angry, frustrated and doubtful. But, if both people truly love one another, they will often stick it out even when it's not easy to do so.

Can a Man Cheat But Still Love You?

I am asked this question very often. Although most people don't realize this, statistically speaking, many people aren't ready to end their marriages when they have an affair or cheat. In fact, many husbands who are caught cheating actually never intended to get a divorce. This is very confusing and frustrating for the wives who are living in this situation. I often hear things like "he swears he never stopped loving me. He insists that his cheating had nothing to do with me or our marriage. He says the problem is within him and has nothing to do with his feelings for me. How am I supposed to believe this? How can you claim to love someone and then betray them and cheat on them?"

I very much understand these questions. You have every right to ask them. And, I have to tell you that you likely won't understand the answer. It's hard for wives who were faithful in their marriages even when things were difficult to understand how someone else made a different choice. Being unfaithful would likely never be a road that you would walk down. So, much of the reasoning that he might give you is likely going to sound like nothing more than excuses. Still, in the following article, I'll go over some of the reasoning that men use when they swear they can still love their wives (or girlfriends) even though they cheated.

Why Men Will Tell You That They Can Still Love You Before, During, And After Their Cheating: It might be obvious by now that I'm a woman. It's difficult for me to think like a man especially since I'm a woman who has also been cheated on. However, I have spent a lot of time researching this topic. I also have men who contact me through my blog that sometimes offer insights into their thinking. I can share with you what they share with me.

Many tell me that their cheating had very little to do with their wife. They tell me that it was a response to stress, doubt, insecurity, or crisis in their life. Sometimes this is due to aging, losing someone that they love, or feeling vulnerable in their job or in their own mind. Sometimes, they have low self esteem or little impulse control. They want to shield these things from their wife rather then share them with her. So, the cheating is often their attempt to quiet these things while keeping them from their wife. They will and can sincerely tell you that nothing in this process changed their love for their wife.

Granted, I'm sure there are husbands who are insincere about this and who are just trying to make themselves look a little less distasteful. But, most of the men that I dialog with appear to be quite sincere and appear to believe every word that they are saying. I'm not telling you this to make excuses for them. And by no means am I trying to diminish the blame that they deserve. I'm just sharing the things that I have heard to give you a bit more information.

Saying That He Loves You After His Cheating And Showing You That He Loves You Are Two Very Different Things: In my opinion, words are just that. They are only words. And, as they relate to this topic, they can perhaps make you feel slightly better. But, if there are no actions to follow up the words then doubt is going to eventually make it's way into your mind and into your heart once again.

Sure, he can tell you that he loves you endless times, but if he does not change his behaviors and improve the vulnerabilities in your marriage, you aren't likely to ever really believe him. It's my experience that a man's actions will show you much more than his words ever could, especially in this situation.

A man who never stopped loving his wife even though he cheated will take responsibility for his actions. He might insist that he never stopped loving you but he knows that this doesn't excuse him from what he did. He knows that he has a lot of work to do and that fixing this mess lies mostly with him. He's willing to accept this because he knows that he brought this on himself. He's also willing to have generous amounts of patience and reassurance as you try to process and work through this. He's not going to rush or pressure you. In short, he's going to do whatever needs to be done to help you get through this even if none of it is pleasurable for him.

At the end of the day, every one makes mistakes. But those who are really remorseful for these mistakes and committed them while still loving you are willing to hang in there for the long haul. They will show you over time that they are willing to make the changes and adjustments necessary to regain your trust. These aren't just easily said or empty words to them. They mean them. And they are willing to implement the actions and the behaviors that are meant to prove this to you because you are simply that important to them and they've realized from this experience that they don't want to lose you or to put your relationship in jeopardy.

This is only my opinion and experience, but I do believe that it's possible for a man to still love his wife or girlfriend even if he has cheated. However, in my mind, this should be a one time thing. A man who continues to cheat even after he knows the pain that this causes will generally have a harder time convincing his wife of his sincerity than a man who makes one mistake, never repeats it, and then does everything in his power to make it right.

Body Language and Love: The Silent Connection

What is the connection between body language and love? Can you tell how someone feels by their body language? And can you show someone how you feel through yours? Communication between two people is a complex process that involves all our senses. Don't just use conversation to show a guy you care, or to figure out whether he cares for you. Body language and love have an amazing connection and power. Take a look at how you can use this connection in your own life:

Posture and body position.

Just the way you hold your body when you're around the one you love says a lot. Your body tends to lean in toward the other person. Your body space diminishes. While you may normally have a large body comfort zone, you can't get close enough to someone you love. And when there is anger or hurt between partners, the surest sign is found in the sudden distance between their two bodies. People in love even unconsciously mimic each others' body position; e.g., crossing their legs in the same direction or touching their face at the same time. The connection between body language and love is found in every line of your body when you are with the man you love.

Touch.

A touch between two lovers can be as light as a brush of fingers against a cheek, or it can be as passionate as the deepest kiss. Your earliest love connection is found in your sense of touch. Before your other senses even fully developed, you recognized and craved your parents' gentle touch. Too often, adults forget to touch except when their touching has a sexual intent -- too bad. Recent research has found that the more you kiss your partner, the more intimate you feel. The connection between body language and love is found in each touch that passes between you and the man you love.

Eye contact.

If you really want to know what someone is feeling, just look into his eyes. The expression in a person's eyes and the amount of eye contact he displays provide universal emotional clues. The more casual a relationship, the less people look into each others' eyes, and, conversely, the more deeply and lengthily you look at someone eye to eye, the deeper the undercurrent of emotion that lies between you. The connection between body language and love is found in the deep concentration of the loving gazes you exchange with the man you love.

Facial expression.

In addition to your eyes, the rest of your face also speaks to that silent connection between you. Your smile, in particular, conveys the warmth you feel when in a loved one's presence. A happy expression is also relaxed and looser, without frown lines and pinched lips. We have all heard the expression: "Her face lighted up when he walked in the room." If you've ever seen it happen, you know that it's true. Maybe it's all the endorphins your body releases when you're around someone you're attracted to, but your face does seem to glow. The connection between body language and love is found in the beaming and relaxed face of the man you love.

Now that you understand how body language communicates love, be more aware of what your own body is saying. The silent connection between body language and love creates powerful opportunities for true communication with the ones you love.

How to Test a Man to Know If He Loves You? 7 Great Ways to Know If His Love for You Is True or Not

Too many hearts are broken on account of infidelity. If you don't want to find yourself with a broken heart later on and need to find out if he really cares for you, then put your guy to the test. Here are some wonderful ways in which you can test him and see if he is really in love with you.

Speak of your plans for the future
One way you can know if he truly cares for you is by his reaction when you talk about the future. If he really loves you he will want to talk about commitment and the topic of marriage will not frighten him away! He will willingly discuss the future and enjoy talking about kids, the house etc.

Pretend that you are going out of town
If you want to know if he is faithful and true to you, pretend that you have to leave town for a couple of days. Come back unexpectedly and check on what he is up to! If you find him at home missing you dreadfully you know that he loves you with all his heart. On the other hand if he is painting the town red with your best friend - he does not!

Listen to what his true friends say about him
If his friends keep telling you that he is crazy about you and that all he does is talk about you in a positive manner, it can prove that he really loves you and can think of nobody else. On the other hand, if you keep hearing that he runs you down and criticizes you behind your back, then you should confront him and decide if he truly loves you or not.

Does he put you first?
One of the most common tests that will prove if he loves you or not is to check and see if you really come first in his life. If he always gives you priority over his family and friends and makes you feel special and cared for, then he adores you. If his friends can whisk him away from you within moments, then he does not really care about you.

Is he willing to take you home?
Sometimes if a man is just using a woman and does not really care for her then he is guilty inside and tries to hide her away! He will not take her home to meet his parents and his near and dear friends will never get to meet her. But if he wants to take you home and introduce you to his friends it shows that he is proud to be your guy and loves you.

How selfish is he?
If you find that your guy is very selfish and never bothers to give you anything in return, then he does not love you. If he acts mean and is insensitive to your moods and feelings then it proves that his feelings for you are just superficial.

Pretend to withdraw
If you want to test your guy, just pretend that you are losing interest in him. Stop meeting him and look bored. If he becomes very agitated, anxious and worried about the situation and does his best to make you happy and contented with him, it shows that he really cares and does not want to lose you.

How to Make a Guy Fall in Love With You - 6 Things You Can Do Today to Make Him Desperately Want You

If you want to learn how to make a guy fall in love with you, then it's time to use all of your womanly traits against him. Bust out your femininity, put on an amazing, guy-melting smile and let's get started.

What exactly is your femininity anyway? Femininity simple refers to all the things that make you female. It refers to your creativity, your natural instincts to beautify and improve things, your shapes, your curves, the way you love and nurture others, and the way you go from beautiful to ABSOLUTELY STUNNING whenever you want to.

Your femininity is the key to driving men crazy. If you want to know how to make a guy fall in love with you, then you only need to focus on two things:





Be happy, comfortable, and confident in your own skin. Feel amazing being you and men WILL take notice.

Make your man feel amazing every time he's around you.



You're probably very familiar with the first one, but how do you go about making a man feel amazing every time he's around you? It comes down to understanding men on a deeper level. It's about figuring out what they need, what they want, what they desire, and simply giving it to them without sacrificing anything about who you are in the process.

Here are 6 things you can start doing today to make a guy fall in love with you.





Never focus on a man's faults, flaws, and imperfections and never try to change him. Realize he's not perfect and accept and love him just the way he is.

Give him his privacy. You don't need to know everything about his life. Sometimes men just need to be alone.

Never try to control a man and don't take the things he loves away from him. Just like you need time with your girlfriends, he needs time to hang with the guys and do "guy stuff".

Compliment him and tell him how amazing you think he is. Men want to be winners. They need to feel successful in all aspects of their lives. You'll benefit greatly in your goal of making him fall in love with you by feeding him on a steady diet of admiration.

Look your best just for him. Take advantage of his natural instincts to be attracted to you physically. Your looks alone can create instant attraction.

Appreciate all of his masculine qualities. Men only know how to be men, and a woman who understands that becomes highly desirable.